Alexandra477

Art Makes Noise at Junctionview.

Last night we stopped by Art Makes Noise at Junctionview Studios for some music-inspired art and a live performance by imaginative folk-pop ensemble Super Desserts. Packaged as a show “for artists, musicians, and music lovers,” it was beautifully orchestrated by Sweet and OH Productions and featured a diverse collection of pieces honoring multiple sonic genres. PBR Columbus managed everyone’s thirst and KJDirtyoke unleashed his fete of costumed karaoke. A portion of the proceeds benefited the Franklinton Arts District.

 

 

 

Bexley Supper Club Thrives on Nostalgia.

It’s official: the financial crisis that has plagued us for the past three years has been dubbed the Great Recession. Most of us just want to get through it and move forward, but times like these evoke strong sentiments for the ease of yesteryear. Now more than ever, people crave being swathed in the comfort of the memory quilt. Maybe that’s due to the simple and sweet familiarity associated with all things throwback. There’s a time and place for Moby and soy lattes, and it sure as heck ain’t today. The Top Steak House in the east Columbus neighborhood of Bexley is enjoying its own retro-reveling resurgence, as we experienced on a recent bustling Saturday night.

Founded in 1955, The Top pays genuine homage to post-war American supper clubs. This is a place where the lighting is dark, the leather is red, and Sinatra albums enjoy permanent residence in the stereo system. At The Top, your order for a Gibson martini will be met with a bowtied bartender’s knowing eyes. The menu boasts an array of char-broiled meats and chops, and all dinners come with a choice of hefty side dishes. Although the entrée prices aren’t Great-Recession-proof, The Top’s bar menu offers burgers and sandwiches from $8 to $14. My favorite feature of the place, other than its (rumored) secret back entrance for paramours, is that it hosts live music seven nights a week. As we perched ourselves at the copper-topped bar and chatted with the 75-year-old man sitting next to us in “his” barstool, we pondered the thousands of clandestine conversations that have ensued there and snickered at the old ladies in the corner wrapped in their diamonds and fur. Even though we’re going to crawl out of this recession, places like this will still entice old timers, hipsters, and everyone in between with classic cuisine, and more importantly, loungy spunk.

      

Found Footage Festival At The Drexel.

Many people store boxes of old VHS tapes in their basements. If thrown into a VCR, those videos would probably replay moments of weddings, birthday parties, and graduation ceremonies. But some of us have darker, and weirder, recorded exploits.  If you’re one of them, don’t let Joe Pickett and Nick Prueher get their hands on your material. Since 2004, they’ve collected gobs of found VHS footage from thrift stores and garage sales and have edited them into bite-sized comedic pieces of toe curling fodder known as the Found Footage Festival. Last night at the Drexel Theatre in Columbus, a near sold out crowd enjoyed every wicked minute of it.

Joe and Nick have bottled their blend of embarrassment entertainment into 90-minute live comedy acts featuring delightfully awkward video clips and caustic commentary. They were in town for one night only to air the fourth volume of their festival, which contains unbelievably abysmal exercise videos, Saturday morning cartoons, dating service segments, sexual misfits, costumed animals, and unfortunate celebrity endorsements. For me, the highlights were the Chuck Norris cartoon that blurted his name every other phrase, an over-zealous knife and blowgun enthusiast, and a bumbling furniture salesman named Bargain Bernie who repeatedly squawked “I’m just trying to save you money.”

Joe and Nick will continue touring their friendly mortification roadshow through May. Relish at your own risk, and keep all of your old VHS tapes under lock and key.

 

70-Year-Old Diner Cooler than Converse.

Do you ever have one of those nights when you want to go out to eat but can’t decide where? I think the technical term is diningum indecisionitis. Thanks to The Blue Danube Restaurant, I don’t have that problem. It’s the ultimate fail-proof fallback eatery. And since 1940, it has offered tasty no-frills grub in a comfy atmosphere. The jukebox tunes are always colorful and the service is always genuinely friendly.

Located just north of the OSU campus, "The Dube" has everything you’d wish from a liberal-leaning diner: PBR on draft, milk shakes, breakfast burritos, four kinds of hotdogs, and nine types of burgers. All house margaritas come with an extra shot of tequila. The kicked-back mainstay, which serves a variety of cuisine ranging from American and Greek to Italian and Mexican, recently introduced some new dishes, like the Irish Eggroll, Sliders, Sweet Potato Fries, Flatbread Pizza, Salmon BLT, Taco Salad, Black & Blue Salad, and Cheesy Chicken Pasta Bowl. Prices generally range from $3 to $8 except for my two favorite menu items: the Dube Dinner Deluxe for $165, which includes a bottle of Dom Perignon and two grilled cheese sandwiches, and the Dube Dinner Ordinaire for $45, which includes “a bottle of amusing, yet unassuming, sparkling Rose wine from the house of Chandon, and two grilled cheese sandwiches.” I’ve never tried either but they’ve been on the menu for as long as I can remember.

Like your oldest pair of Chuck Taylors, The Dube keeps earning more cred with time. It’s open Monday through Thursday from 11:00 a.m. to 1:00 a.m., Friday and Saturday from 9:00 a.m. to 2:30 a.m., and Sunday from 9:00 a.m. to midnight. For more information, call 614-261-9308. If you live in Columbus and find yourself toiling about where to eat, hit the Dube¹. You won’t be disappointed.

¹ You don't dine at, visit, or frequent The Dube. You hit it.

 

Pecha Kucha Columbus Celebrates 3 Years.

The next Pecha Kucha Columbus event is this Thursday night at the OSU Urban Arts Space from 7:00 to 9:30. Like our other quarterly events, it'll be an explosion of local creativity that combines music, art, food, dance, and presentations. The Columbus chapter is three years old this month and is one of 280 participating cities from around the world. The philosophy behind this global movement, which was founded in Tokyo in 2003, is based on a simple format of having presenters show 20 images and speaking about each image for 20 seconds. It's a quick, compelling way to hear people describe their passions, mantras, and life experiences. I have been on the team of organizers for the past year.

Presenting on Thursday night will be political activist Wendy Ake, illustrator Ewart Da-Souza, Brenda Direen from American Canvas Eco Screen Printing Studio, Matthew Dyer, Andrew Hall from Ohio vs Michigan Wine Clash, Karen Hough from ImprovEdge, Rhoda Lazo from Little and LOUD International, comic book and graphic artist Dara Naraghi, Deputy Director of Columbus Metropolitan Library Chris Taylor, and typography designer Michael Todoran.

The Alwood Sisters will perform at 7:00 and presentations will begin a half hour later. Members from the OSU Department of Dance will perform during intermission. The Hills Market will sell sandwiches and salads containing local ingredients, and Sassafras Bakery will sell Valentine's-Day-themed sugar cookies, Kiss Cakes, and Chocolate Raspberry Mint Tarts. Three visual art exhibitions will be on display: Transitions: The Dresden Project, Photographs by Fredrik Marsh; Art, Documentary, and Propaganda in Wartime China: The Photography of Sha Fei; and The American Weigh: Christopher Steele Collection.

The suggested donation is $2 per person and proceeds will be donated to the American Red Cross Haiti Relief and Development fund.

    

My Super Bowl Ad.

For the second time in history, the price of a 30-second Super Bowl spot has decreased. For the low, low price of $2.5 million, you too could have your own half-minute of countrywide fame. Naturally this got me to thinking what I would do with that gilded time allotment on February 7.

FADE IN:  

INT. A WOOD-PANELED ROOM – NIGHT  

A distinguished man sits in a cushy leather chair, reading. A roaring fire emanates from a gargantuan fireplace casting a warm glow on the wall of books behind him. The man is Will Ferrell and he is portraying James Lipton.

PHONY JAMES LIPTON

WHY, HELLO. I DIDN'T SEE YOU THERE.

Phony Lipton sets down his book (something light and breezy, like The Merchant of Venice) and gazes directly into camera.

PHONY JAMES LIPTON

I LIKE TO RELAX AND UNWIND.

  He sips from his Smithsonian coffee mug and saunters to the window.                      

PHONY JAMES LIPTON

AND WITH ALEXANDRA477, I CAN DO THAT WHENEVER I SEE FIT. UNLESS I'M STARRING IN AN IMPORTANT MOVING PICTURE, OF COURSE.

Phony Lipton places his coffee mug on table fashioned from a stuffed boar’s head.

PHONY JAMES LIPTON

WITH ALEXANDRA477, I DON’T HAVE TO FRET OVER MY TASKS, BECAUSE

SHE MANAGES THEM FOR ME. WHY, IT’S AS EASY AS RUBBING THE BELLY OF A BABY SQUIRREL AT THREE IN THE MORNING.

He lights a candle and strokes his beard.  

PHONY JAMES LIPTON

WHEN I NEED A NOTE SCRIBED TO A YOUNG LASSIES DECLARING MY BAWDY INTENTIONS TO HALF-HEARTEDLY COURT HER, ALEXANDRA477 RISES TO THE OCCASION.

He lets out a throaty groan as he lies down on a large bear skin rug.

PHONY JAMES LIPTON

WHEN THE EDITOR OF MANLY QUAIL HUNTERS MAGAZINE BESEECHES ME FOR A ROUSING ANECDOTE ABOUT GALOSHING BLINDFOLDED THROUGH A FOWL-RIDDLED FOREST, I KNOW ALEXANDRA477 WILL PEN IT WITH A DEFT HAND.

Phony Lipton reaches into the mouth of the rug and retrieves a cocktail shaker, tumbler, and bottle of liquor.

PHONY JAMES LIPTON

AND YES, EVERY TIME I IMBIBE ONE TOO MANY BUTTERSCOTCH SCHNAPPS AND PUBLICLY CALL SOMEONE OF GREAT IMPORT A "SISSYWILLOW," ALEXANDRA477 QUELLS THE EVIL FIRES OF DRAGON-FACED GOSSIP.

He hoists his cocktail in the air, toasting.

PHONY JAMES LIPTON

DELIGHTFUL. SIMPLY DELIGHTFUL.